Free Fallin'

I recently acquired a guitar (Friday), thinking that since I am of the musical sort I should procure a guitar and learn to play. You know, cultivate my talent and all that good crap. Well...I'm not gonna lie to you. It's been like four days and I really suck. I'm not sure if it's my lack of guitar knowledge or if the whole strings/chords/numbers/letters thing intimidates me, but...I'm no John Mayer, let me tell you.

I haven't had time to go purchase a guitar manual, so I purchased a fine app off iTunes called Guitar Basics for Dummies, and I'm going to tell you I learned quite a bit about guitar playing. In theory. In practice...well...let's just say I have a bit of work cut out for me. I think that with proper, uninterrupted (that means you, Nicky and Mom) practice I might be able to summit and conquer Guitar Mountain. Maybe.

I'm thinking that maybe a guitar is like a puppy. You have to get it to trust you and then assert your dominance. Well, I'm asserting myself right now. I'm the Alpha, bitch. I totally own you, guitar. Yes. I also decided that I should name said guitar, because that will make it a lot more interesting and meaningful when I get mad at it and insult its guitarhood. I named my guitar Bessie Washington. I think it fits my guitar very well.

Along with the proper guitar holding technique and learning to fret and becoming intimidated by the juxtaposition of major and minor signs and numbers and letters and chords, I've learned another important thing about myself: my fingers are little sissy bitches. Seriously. I can only play for a little while before my fingers get sore and I have to stop because I have the impressions on my fingertips from where the strings cut into my fingers. I need to figure out how to speed up the callus forming process.

I honestly can't wait to be able to play a song, and I feel like Bessie Washington and myself are about to embark on a hilarious musical journey of pain, anguish, joy, frustration, anger, and that inevitable Helen Keller aha moment where it'll all come together and I'll attain guitar enlightenment.

And the first real song I hope to play, after I get comfortable with everything? "Free Fallin'", John Mayer style. Go look up his version on YouTube and you'll be like "wow, that John Mayer is a douche, but lord can he play the guitar."

Girl Inform Me

Welcome to the 100th episode of Butterflies and Hurricanes. 

It's been quite a ride. 

I've currently acquired a creeper/stalker, I think.  I will share with you the message I got on Facebook last night from the Floridian Flasher.

March 6 at 8:40pm

Yo what's your deal ? I know u got my texts
 
Actually I did not get your texts because I blocked your number. 
 
Jesussss.  What a creeper.  Most people would have gotten the hint and rode off into the sunset.
 
(Here's to the next 100 posts being as crazy as these!)

Clint Eastwood

So...Last night was the MMA fight. Dude, it sucked. Unbelievably sucked.

Just kidding! It was AWESOME. Like Jesus walking on water awesome. I had to sell tickets, so I missed the first 3 matches, but...I never knew I'd like watching two guys beat the crap out of each other in a cage so much!

One of the fights (sponsored by our dealership) started out great. The one opponent was from Chicago (blue team), the other from Akron (red team). I wanted the guy from Chicago to win, and it looked just like maybe he would, until the dude from Akron pushed up against the cage and grappled (I think that's what it's called) with him. I personally thought it looked like they were hugging. Turns out that hugging is the Akron guy's favorite move, when he isn't "accidentally" kicking the guy in the crotch. My table was screaming and booing and yelling at the referee (myself included) to break the two up. The red guy won, much to a lot of people in the audience's chagrin.

The rest of the fights were awesome, the awesomeness amplified by the drinks I had. The best fight in my opinion was Bobby Jones, this ex-NFL player who lives in Wadsworth. He was part of the heavyweight match, and his opponent tapped out in like four minutes in the first round. It was badass! I stood on a chair for that one. They also had their first title match last night, and this welterweight from Cleveland (you know I was really loud for that one) won the belt.

It's really hard to put all the fun into words. I had a great time, and it was kind of cool to be the only girl at our table. It was even cooler to be the only girl at the table and to be louder than most of the guys! (My favorite line was "fuck him up!") I definitely plan on going to the next one in October, and I definitely plan to tell you guys all about it!