Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Mediocre Bad Guys

Hmm. Interesting title for today's post.

Today I'm going to blog about all the mediocre bad guys that impact me on a daily basis. I may have interacted with bad guy once and never seen him again. It may be a repeat offender.

Okay. My biggest mediocre bad guy would be the crazy guy who craps in the bus stop almost weekly. It's like oh my god, dude, are you serious??? I can't figure that guy out, nor do I really want to.

Then there's the guys at Dunkin' Donuts who take waay too long to get my order together. I really don't want to hear your undoubtably engaging and entertaining story about how you forgot to turn your Chem homework in. I just want my vanilla chai so I can go suffer five hours at work. Ditto to the guys at various fast food establishments who screw up my seemingly simple order of a cheeseburger with ketchup only. Or forget my ranch for my fries. Bastards.

I also have to mention the people on the bus who feel the need to give their purse or backpack its own seat. Dude, the bus is crowded and probably most likely late. I don't think your carry-on accessory will mind if it has to sit in your lap. Kudos to the people who seem to think they have to lounge across two seats. Does that really seem necessary? It's a bus, not a Laz-E-Boy. Sit the fuck up.

There's the people who feel the need to get gangster with me on the phone at work. I know you feel hardcore because the odds of seeing me are pretty slim, but you're on the phone getting smart with a receptionist. How gangster can you actually be, homes?

And I can't forget my fellow parents at Head Start. What a bunch of idiots. How does it make any sense to bring your sick child to school when they have a fever? I don't care if they want to go to school or not. Have you heard of the swine flu? Ugh. I had to keep Nicky home today because he got sick from another kid who had stupid parents.

I'd like to dedicate this post to all the mediocre idiots who unseemingly conspire to make my day hell. Keep up the good work. I tip my hat to you.

1 comment:

  1. I can add a few to your list: that guy on the bus whose iPod is so loud I can actually make out the lyrics from 20 feet away. Are you deaf? Well you soon will be! The girl yelling into her mobile phone. It has a microphone so you don't need to shout, just talk normally already! Great post and I hope Nicky is well soon and didn't catch a case of the stoopids from those inconsiderate oafs.


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