Tiny Light

I'm lying here in bed
It's nearly three in the morning
And of course I'm thinking about you
Of course

I'm wondering if you're really going to do
What you said you were gonna do
If you don't get your way
And if
If I really should care

Of course we both know the answer
Yes
Of course

And I'm wondering why I care so much
Why I care so much about you
Why my heart worries so much
About you
It's funny, I suppose

Why I can barely stand the thought
Of an everyday without you
It's ridiculous, of course
Why should I care
We're both adults, free to do as we choose
Ridiculous to miss you
Of course

And yet
I'm lying here
Quietly hoping that you don't go
Because I need you to stay, of course
I've gotten so used to you
That must be it, my brain insists
You're my very own daily routine
That's why I want you to stay

Of course we both really know the answer
I need you, we both know
Of course

--"Wild Hope", 01/17/2011.

Dirt Off Your Shoulder

Yesterday I took the plunge.

No, I didn't get married. I didn't even dive into the deep end of a pool (if I did such a thing I would probably die, since I just so happen to not know how to swim--I'm adding that to my list of bullshit broken promises...I mean "resolutions"). No...I started my diet/exercise/it's-not-a-diet-it's-a-life-plan debacle of 2011. I'm feeling pretty good so far, surprisingly. No debilitating muscle spasms or soreness. I'm known for being too overzealous and idiotic and not being able to walk for like three days after I do lunges. I'm kinda thinking I might be able to stick to it longer than two weeks, which would be the stuff of legends. I expect an epic ballad of medieval proportions...kinda like Beowulf, but minus the slaying of Grendel and hanging with guys named Hrothgar. Although it'd be kind of cool to be friends with a guy named Hrothgar.

I took my obligatory Jennie Craig style "Before" pictures, and um...all I can say is WOW. Nothing puts your debauchery and love of cake and superfluous gourmet grilled cheese in perspective like four simple shots of front, back, ass, and side. I immediately regretted my bacchanal at Olive Garden the night before. I think I found out where all that pasta goodness went after all: right to the cellulite that decided to unpack itself on the backs of my thighs. Sweeeet.

I'm hoping to lose twentyish pounds by the end of May or mid-June. Baby steps. I think I'd like to run in a half-marathon in the Fall, though I'd have to train and bribe my legs not to mutiny and fall off.

Besides, I think I should be in prime shape for my never-ending adventures and constant shenanigans with Nicky. Who needs Jillian Michaels when you have an impatient and seemingly eternally hyper five year old boy? I'm destined for greatness. Wish me luck :)

Like a G6

Happy New Year my wonderful beautiful fabulous readers!!! I hope 2011 brings you joy and brings you closer to fulfilling your wildest dreams.

I can't believe how quickly 2010 went by. I must say that it was a good year, and if it were wine it'd have been sweet, with floral notes and hints of sparkling citrus. I'd buy a bottle of L. Diddy wine circa 2010.

I've taken to calling myself L. Diddy. I think it's catchy and sounds good when I talk about myself in the third person, which I do a lot more now since I have a cool nickname for myself. I made a list of obligatory resolutions, which I hope to try to keep.

Let's do this.

L. Diddy's List of Obligatory New Years Resolutions, 2011 Edition

*Lose 10-20 pounds
*Embrace exercise (and not the bomb)
*Get more sleep
*Go to bed before 3 am...let's aim for 11 pm
*Make more time for Mommy and Nicky time
*Write and finish a novel
*Record a song in an actual studio

And I'm bound to add more as the year goes on. Wish me luck, because I am sending some to all of you as you struggle with your own resolutions, or as I like to call them, "lies we tell ourselves to make us feel better about all the bad crap we did the year before".